Ahem

Dear you down there,

to whom I’ve given so many names

(none flattering, all puerile, some

so ludicrous, I snigger even now).

You will, I hope, forgive me

for all the trouble I’ve caused:

for my vices, my love of spices,

and for neglecting to read

the labels properly.

And let’s be frank,

at times you’ve given

just as good as you’ve got.

Take last Christmas, for instance:

still not sure what I did to warrant that.